इ दोन'टी गेट आईटी!

I DON'T GET IT!
How often I hear these words from clients and/or people I sponsor. I constantly witness insanity at work; doing the same thing repeatedly expecting different results! DUH---don't get it?
In my pro bono service work I try to never say no to someone who genuinely asks for help IF I am qualified to help. In my paid coaching work, because I guarantee results, I am very particular as to who I accept as clients. In both cases, to get it, to make very big life changes-not just living addiction free- requires many things.
I have studied psychology and read a great many books on change, motivation, success, spirituality and many other related topics; materials presented by very well known people. They all add to my knowledge base. HOWEVER, my bible for life change remains the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. A book not written by a noted shrink, but by people who have walked the walk!
In Chapter 5 of this book, on pages 58 and 59, there is a chapter called "How It Works". Most who read go directly to the 12 steps, but the simple truths appear before getting that deeply into the chapter.
The chapter begins "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. It promises a high likelihood of failure to people who will not follow this simple program.
I have noted following a simple program is tough for intelligent people, they seem to have the answers, and the answers they have are complicated.
To get the life you want, the book states that having the capacity to be honest is needed. And this means honest to self on all matters. Rigorous honesty is called for.
If you want the life and results you espouse to, you must be willing to go to any lengths to get them. What is complicated about "any lengths"? Experience has shown me that those who don't get it are those who define the lengths they are prepared to go to. When I guarantee my paying clients results, it is with the clear stipulation that they be totally honest to themselves and to me, and do the work assigned without question. To date, all who have done so have got results.
As the book goes on to say "At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier softer way. But we could not." There is no shortcut to success. Ask those who took part in the easy money schemes that are now unfolding. Generally, you reap what you sow
To get results we need help- help from a power greater than ourselves. I am not religious, but know that if I had depended on me solely to get the life I really wanted; insanity as noted above would have prevented my achieving my goals. Simple truth. While not religious personally, I have found a real higher power within me (and we all have it) which has been a constant source of strength. You may need some help to know where to look. It's there!
The book states and I have witnessed it in action, “Half measures availed us not. We stood at the turning point". Don't do the work and it is likely you'll make the wrong turn. Simple truth!
When my head got into the place where all this stuff made sense, I was ready to take action, and funny thing, I was able to get it! I love coaching others through the process of readiness and the action that follows it. Those who are committed get it despite themselves, but it is a leap of faith.
In a few minutes I will speak with a "pro bono" "friend" who for five years has not got it. We will go over the same basic stuff again because he states he is struggling and not getting it. He is a highly trained professional who suffers frequently from depression (funny, alcohol and pot are chemical depressants) and has harmed his professional practise. He is at risk of losing his cherished family and has deeply hurt and adversely affected those he is closest to. His reputation amongst friends and peers has been tarnished (bad mental hygiene and addictions are the worst kept “secret" in town). His ego (self-pride) on the outside appears large; his self-esteem/self-love is very low. He can rationalise and complicate most things, yet he tells me he just doesn't get it.
Wonder why? Could it be that he is not willing to go to the lengths necessary?
I certainly don't have all the answers. I've trained and constantly upgrade to be the best value I can be to others. Daily I do the best I can to walk the talk. I've travelled my own road of life recovery, have used much "outside" professional help when needed and as you can tell from my bible, stay close to the basics that have helped millions improve their mental hygiene.
If I can help steer you to a path of life recovery and/or a life free from addictions, I'm here to help pro bono. If you need coaching (not therapy) to help you along the way, we should talk and see if there is a win/win. I work hard at being a "trusted confidant" and my mission is simply" to help others succeed at living the life they want". www.hopeserenity.ca. Maybe we can help you "GET IT”!

शोविंग यू CARE

SHOWING YOU CARE
How do you show you care?
"Love is not only something you feel. It is something you do." -- David Wilkerson
Step one in my recovery of life was learning how to truly love and care for myself. Then I had a whole new challenge. I could now allow myself to feel and express feelings. How was this to change my behaviour towards others I loved? In his IDEA ENGINEER, my coaching coach, Randin Brons gives some things to provoke thought.
"In her book, 'No Less Than Greatness,' Mary Manin Morrissey speaks of a research study that explored how family members communicate with each other. Apparently, the most frequently spoken words between husbands, wives, sisters and brothers were "What's on?" and "Move."
She goes on to say, "We all desire great relationships but often settle for just getting by. Many of us have stopped questioning the fact that we may know fictitious TV families more intimately than we do our own."
The most powerful force in our lives is our ability to love. Indeed, it's the most basic essence of who we are. How do you experience and express your love for the people in your life?"
"The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the other.... The whole purpose of life is to live by love." -- Thomas Merton
Is there room for improvement in meaningful family communications? Do you know TV families or friend’s families better than your own? Think about it; don't dismiss this lightly.
Looking to improve "love" in your life and communicating this externally? Feel free to get in touch through khbray@hopeserenity.ca and possibly a quick conversation can put you on a new road! Start looking beyond what was and is to what might be!